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6/7/07
When the first Pirates of the Caribbean movie came out, I
thought the idea of making a movie based on a theme park ride was
ridiculous. Hollywood has always looked in weird and stupid places for
sweet, sweet monies, but this seemed to take the cake. I was pleasantly
surprised when the movie turned out really, really good. I didn’t
actually see the film until it hit DVD, but between the swashbuckling
action and Depp’s hilarious Jack Sparrow, I enjoyed the movie quite a
bit.
When Dead Man’s Chest came out, Jeff, Logan, and I went and saw our
theater’s midnight release. My movie-going experience was flipped on
its head when compared to the first one, as this time I was expecting a
movie as good as or better than its predecessor, and was met with a
convoluted mess of pointless plot threads, even more pointless action
scenes, and once-great characters that wore thin surprisingly fast.
When At World’s End came out, I was cautiously optimistic. After being
let down by the second film, I tried not to get my hopes up, but I also
thought that the third installment had to be leagues better than the
second. I was wrong. They
done fucked up again.
At World’s End, while better than Dead Man’s Chest, was still the
same convoluted mess. There are so many plotlines that are hard to
follow, the best example of this being a certain key event that happened
in between films that you’re
supposed to understand right away. The entire film has you constantly
questioning whether or not you even saw the second movie. You have seen
it, this movie is just a confusing pile of shit.
I didn’t mean to devote so much of the Happs to Pirates 3, but once I
began the tale of how Disney tricked the shit out of me, I just
couldn’t be stopped.
Now I’m not in the mood to write anything funny.
-Dylan
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